Zombie Survival

Step by step on how to survive a zombie outbreak.

Step 1:
Make sure you're not bitten.
Step 2:
Secure your immediate surroundings as you gather your thoughts and plan out your survival.
Step 3:
Break open Zombie Survival Kit. If you're wondering what a Zombie Survival Kit consists of then you obviously didn't plan so you deserve to get bitten.
Step 4:
Grab any other weapons and supplies in preparation to leave populated area. Ensure that the weapons you choose are durable and can easily pierce for a quick kill. My weapon of choice: wrecking bar.
Step 5:
Form a small maintainable party consisting of predetermined trustworthy friends. Avoid anyone who is slow, stupid, or sympathetic.
Step 6:
Hijack a durable AWD non gas guzzling form of transportation. May I suggest the Gadgetmobile.
Step 7:
Find the quickest route north towards the North Pole. The cold would slow and possibly immobilize any zombies. Remember to dress appropriately.
Step 8:
Remember to kill/abandon all wounded members in your party along the way: be it zombie bites or twisted ankles.
Step 9:
Head north until you arrive at your fortress in the North Pole
Step 10:
Secure said fortress that you have in the North Pole, and wait out for the rest of the human population to be devoured by zombies. This will lead to a food shortage, and within a few short years/decades, all remaining zombies will have rotted and deteriorated to nothing due to the elements and natural decay.

But how did you afford the fortress? Easy, you started investing today, and Steven can help you by starting you off on a monthly savings plan, to help you save for your fortress of solitude. Remember you're not saving up for real estate, you're saving up for your very existence.